my priorities, my fears, my future

so, as DEA said, it's now hurry up and wait for jay to arrive - the culmination of eight months (more?) of training.

and somehow i feel like i'm limping to the finish instead of kicking hard and pushing. however, i did have a bit of an adventure this weekend. my family has a cottage on sebago lake in maine, and i decided to pedal there saturday afternoon. i figured a nice 40-mile jaunt on the road would be a good head-clearer, as well as a nice muscle push. this, however, all changed when i got a bit too deep into my drink friday night, got about four hours of drunken sleep, and left an hour and a half later than i'd intended to.

and i got turned around and went off course, tacking 12 miles onto my trip. i was pedaling through hiram into denmark, maine, feeling really happy that i was riding on the road in the direction i was, because pedaling the other way just looked evil, when i got the distinct impression that something was amiss. luckily, i spotted a guy working on his tractor, and asked him the easiest way to get to route 114, my final destination. his answer? "right back the way you came, buddy!"

shit!

so, i sad and demoralized, i pointed the jake in the opposite direction and fought against gravity some more. all in all, it was a good ride, and considering my lack of sleep, energy and motivation, i did well.

but does this help going into jay? i don't know. i'm trying to be confident and aggressive, but i have moments of terror, and moments of elation about the whole thing. i think i've decided to go into this looking forward: have the most fun that i can squeeze out of it, learn a bit about myself and everybody else on TWAF, push the hell out of my legs and attempt to prove to myself that all the training was worth it.

maybe the fact that my attention's been turned to an amazing girl, and my priorities are shifting... i don't know. it's like mickey said in "rocky": "women weaken legs, rock."

who knows... all i do know is jay is 12 days away, and we're going up whether we're ready or not.

...and we'd better be ready as we can be.
nK